saturday - 17/9/05

well another week has passed, and we're nearer to the horrors of the N'level exam. im getting less and less confident of my maths by the minute. they say prelims are harder than the N'level. but i tried an N'level maths paper in school yesterday, and couldnt do a couple of questions. actually, more than a couple. in the first few pages, i alr left out three questions, and all so simple when given the solution.

my mom's out. she told us about this farewell thing the SAF did for my dad. video clips showing him as an officer, then another of him as a gentleman and friend, and the last as a family man. so i guess they're like comin over to shoot us when we're at home. you know, doing our own stuff.

they fought again. she shouted. i hate it when they quarrel. she gets into a considerable foul mood and i cant speak to her again until she feels better. and days at home without someone to talk to is a real depresser.

i guess all i can do today is study my maths. im using it for one of my best three in N'level, so i definitely cant screw up. but in practices i always end up with a2s, missing a1s with one mark or so.

this year's N'level is crucial. there are always other people waiting to come into fairfield, and even if we pass within the range of 10 points for 3 subjects, we may not be guaranteed a place. retaining is definitely not an option, as next year's sec4 n(a) classes are full. so getting an 8 or 9 for N'level is really risky.

though i got a 7 for my prelims, im also in the danger zone. mr pang opened the option of taking CLB for chinese but im not sure if i want to go down that path. but, well, its still an option for me, but the bad thing is, i cant use chinese for O'level at all if i take CLB. i once i had a friend from CLB classes, and he told me if im concerned of what people think, then its the wrong path for me. im not sure about getting discriminated or looked down when you take CLB but if its the case, i'd rather take O'level chinese next year and use it for my Os.

home feels isolated. my parents go out till late at night. and the only time i get to talk and laugh with my sisters is when we sit together to watch 'beyond the aXis of time' on channel 8. thats when they stop fighting. until he calls.. then she leaves the room and sits in the dark. and you hear the shouting again..

well, gab just left to meet sher, and danielle's probably going out later. none of my parents are home. well i guess its time for me to start on my maths. see ya.